I'm Sorry
by Japanese Noodles
Summary: While studying overseas in America New York, Kagome finally writes a letter to Inuyasha explaining why she finally placed an end to their fairytale romance...Rated T for slight coarse language


**I** **'m Sorry**

**(Standard Disclaimer Applies**

**Hey guys** **, this is just a short one** **-shot I wrote** **,I never intended to write this as a one** **-shot fanfic for Inuyasha but I thought that what the feck** **, I haven** **'t updated for a billion years so may as well post something up** **. I** **'m not sure if Kagome may actually write like this so I** **'m afraid that the perceived Inuyasha and Kagome writing this letter may be a bit OOC**

**In the letter Kagome is in America** **, New York studying and Inuyasha came from Tokyo for a tour** **. They arranged to meet up but it** **'s never going to happen** **, cause Kagome** **'s standing him up** **. Hoho** **, I** **'m so evil** **.There will be a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes cause I don't have a BETA anymore**

**Rated T for swearing** **, nothing too serious though **

_Inuyasha__，_

_When you finally read this letter you'll most likely be back home__。_

_I'm writing this to you now even as you are walking and exploring the city of New York, in most likeliness you will also be with 20 kilometers of me right now as I live close to the heart of the city, yet, the fact that you are so close to me isn't exciting or heart racing._

_What is this letter about? I think I should clarify my reasoning behind our parting._

_I want to say sorry, to you. I'm sorry for abandoning you like this, and turning my head away from your affections, but it's something I must do. I don't love you anymore._

_And, I'm so sorry for saying this. But I don't think I ever did._

_Go on, you can call me a bitch and a slut etc. I don't mind, after all, I most likely deserve to be called that but I've been thinking why is it like this, and now that the reason's are clear I'd like to share them with you. _

_Since you've been so desperately curious as to why I 'broke it off'._

_In the beginning Inuyasha, over one year ago when you and I first met I found you attractive, really. When I found out you also saw me in the same light I was thrilled. But, I think that's as deep as it went for me, attraction. I was impatient to date you because you had been the only person I've met willing to openly return said affection. When you first asked me to date you, that's when things in my head turned. I wanted to date, I wanted to feel the thrill of being loved, the drama of a relationship, the speeches of love and adoration, the dreams of a forever lasting romance complete with marriage and kids,, the warmth of being hugged, kissed, the pride in which I can state 'I'm dating, and I have a boyfriend, I'm in love'._

_But at that time I didn't even know you well, we built a fire that wasn't built to last. _

_I like to think of relationships as campfires, you must first build the kindling that's required to light a fire, yet you must also leave enough spare wood to keep the fire going. We made a bundle too small, leaving too much to be discovered, and the fire died out._

_Why? _

_It's because I hardly knew you, we barely knew each other for 2 months before we dated. And that's where the problem begins. _

_Inuyasha, I'm not sure if I have ever told you before, but I had always hated ego-istic bastards that showed off, and always tried to act pimp and cool, while I'm not going to say you were a bastard you were ego-istic and in my eyes, you were immature. You fit right in the bill. I didn't know it at first, of course when you first meet people you like you always only let them see the better side of you (me included). I should have noticed it sooner, realized it when you kept saying 'I'm a big boy now, and big boys' don't cry'. Inuyasha, Big Boy's don't let their mummy's wash their clothes and tidy their rooms. I know it may sound harsh, but it's the way I perceive things._

_In the months that followed, I realized something. In the time that I dated you I don't think I've experienced so much anger, frustration, stress, fear and disappointment. It was only in the last few months before we broke up that I realized the reason's of my unhappiness was you. Disappointment and frustration of being stood up, anger at the way you acted and the stress and fear of being caught. I was unhappy about you. But I didn't even notice it. That's when I started to talk to other people and their relationships and suddenly it clicked. "Hang on, dating shouldn't be like this...I shouldn't be feeling this way...I should be in love and enjoying every minute of it' But I wasn't. I talked to people who knew you, I asked them about their views of you, what did you act like when I wasn't around? What did the other's think of you? What were you truly like when you weren't around me? I can tell you, learning what other people truly thought of you was most definitely a waking call. But that thought only came at a much much later date...and why?_

_I was too busy being in Lust with you._

_And that drew me to another realization. We had an intimate relationship. But it was too late to turn back; you had unlocked a door full of heightened feelings and new sensations. You unlocked a door of Lust._

_I was drugged; I loved the feeling of pleasure, contentment. I was hooked. I was addicted. But it was all so wrong. So very very wrong. When the hazy dream began to wear off I found myself waking up and the guilt, the horrible feeling of shame. I was ashamed of myself. I shamed my family. I shamed my pride. But that wasn't what made me snap. The one major reason why was your __boasting__. Despite all my pleas for secrecy__， __you never respected my wishes, you never considered I would be hurt if you told your friends things they shouldn't know, you never cared that I wanted our intimacy to be kept secretly only between us, a special knowledge that existed only between you and me. You never gave a shit that I would be having to deal with the interrogation from your boasting, your fucking male pride. You never realized the burn of humiliation and embarrassment I endured, the hurt in my chest knowing that you had told every fucking friend of yours the secrets behind your closed door. You never knew how close I was to losing the trust of a close, dear friend. You never knew how many lies I told to save my face and pride. You never knew of the tears of stress and frustration I shed alone. _

_You never fucking knew. _

_Did you know I had always wanted a serious, long lasting relationship? I know I am capable of loving for a long time, it was only the matter of finding the right person. That was when I realized that all along, I wasn't in love with you, I was in lust with you. I didn't want to break things because I wanted to reach that one year mark, and say to my friends 'Look! I lasted for a year with him! We MUST be the perfect couple' But we weren't perfect. We never clicked. We never locked together symmetrically like two pieces of a puzzle._

_I felt like this whole thing was simply experimenting, tasting a bit of adult life, a sample of the many years to come. But you weren't the right person; you weren't 'The One'. We never viewed life and thought along the same lines. We never saw the world in the same light. You were too much of something I hated. And you were simply another young, foolish, childish, immature, innocent, naive, keen to discover and learn teenager. Like me. _

_So, I'm sorry that you had to be that person who spent so many months with me, yet never managed to make me cry with happiness, laugh with head dizzying joy. I'm sorry you had to try and please and love a girl who never knew she didn't love you. I'm sorry for the way I lived, the way I treated you, and the way I left you, I'm sorry that you had to learn the harsh and ruthless reasoning of my mind, I'm sorry you had to discover the dark secrets in how I saw you, I'm sorry you had to suffer my harsh cold words, I'm sorry you discovered what heart-broken meant. _

_But for everything else,_

_I'm sorry it had to be you_

**Haha** **,I** **'m sorry there was no kissing or lime or all that jazz** **, but I thought I** **'d post this up as a fic to let people know I wasn** **'t dead** **, but yeah** **, it** **'s just really quite a bit of senseless drabble** **. (I can** **'t believe I** **'m saying this** **) but all flames are welcome cause I** **'m sure some people are going to hate me for wasting their precious reading time**

**But please tell me what you think of it anyway and leave a review**

**-Noodles**

**AN** **: And just between you and me this one** **-shot was based on a real letter**


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